The “Dating a Greek Guy” Guide

So, you think you’re ready to date a Greek/Cypriot man?

Congratulations — you’ve just signed up for a life filled with passion, feta, and opinions about dairy you didn’t even know existed. This is not a guide on how to date a Greek guy, but rather, what to understand before you even embark on this odyssey: consider it part love letter, part words of warning but mostly just for fun, so be sure to take it with a pinch of oregano.

1. His hair will naturally always look better than yours. 
2. If it exists in Double Cream then get it in Double Cream, unless it exists in Triple Cream. Then get that.
3. Only full cream milk, otherwise he might just file for divorce.
4. In fact, never mention a dairy milk substitute. Ever. You will not hear the end of it.
5. Don’t do lunch dates with him and your vegan friends. Trust me, it will save you from a lot of awkward moments.
6. Keep a tub of feta at home at all times. I repeat AT ALL TIMES.
7. Accept that no one can cook better than his yaya (grandmother) or his great yaya. 
8. There will always be smoking… sometimes even inside the house.
9. Greek boys are momma’s boys! They put the Italians to shame.
10. Olive Oil is holy and you should treat it as such.
11. Margarine should go straight into the bin, only butter (and lots of it) from here on out.
12. A lot of, if not all, your conversations and disagreements will revolve around food. 
13. They dance at Greek weddings and it’s awesome to behold.
14. Love is expressed through food and this man will not be able to live on takeout alone – at least one of you should be able to cook.
15. Everything good was invented by the Greeks. Everything. And if you have proof that it wasn’t, it was probably, somehow, stolen from the Greeks.